Being second
by souls fire
Summary: Ran can´t stand being second anymore, so she leaves Shinichi. In the meantime Shinichi meets Shiho. An AU fic, and a little short I think, depends on your reviews!
1. Default Chapter

Being Second

by SoulsFire (PulsingSoul)

Part 1

Hi, my new 2-3 chapter one-shot.And for SN1987A, sorry for not giving you the answer you´re waiting for, but my net did not work, you´ll get it soon though, and also, my last chapters in ,Rules are rules, but "

were meant to be a little confusing... Enjoy!

This was it, and it was a lot harder than he had ever imagined it to be. He had chosen this exact restaurant, the same restaurant his parents were in, when they confessed their love to each other, hoping it would bring him luck. You don´t tell the girl you love, how you feel everyday, now do you?

To say he was nervous was an understatement. Shinichi was sure he could solve hundreds of the most dangerous cases, and still never be this nervous. And the fact that Ran just had to wear that beautiful green dress, which kept distracting him, showing off her heavenly figure, was not helping.

,Shinichi, you ok? You seem a little distracted." Ran was looking at him with big eyes, her heart missing several beats once his blue eyes fixated on her. Oh Kami, this was it! So long had she waited to tell him how much she loved him, and she had a pretty good feeling about him returning her affection ...

,OH MY GOD! The boss was just found dead in the elevator! "

... of course, there would be something going wrong. She sighed. Yes, she knew what was going to happen next. Shinichi would jump up, tell her a very good excuse about how he was the only person smart enough to deal with anything related to death, and then he would disappear.

,Ran." She looked up at him, his eyes nervous in front of hers, the fear of her not accepting what he was about to do now, and that was going there and helping, evident in his eyes. She smiled, thinking he would change, thinking that once this was over she would never be second placed after his cases.

How wrong she was to think so...

Why was he here anyway, was he not supposed to be in there, he looked back at the restaurant, confessing his love to her? Shaking his head he figured, he should concentrate more on matters at hand, and getting back to her faster.

He walked confidently into the hall where he presumed the body to be, and then he stopped dead in his tracks. Standing there, only her profile visible, was one of the most gorgeous women he had ever seen. She was dressed in a satin red dress, falling down a few inches above her knees, a cut going up to mid thigh, showing him her creamy skin, the soft fabric hugging her shapely hips, following the flat of her stomach, as well as the swell of her breasts. Two thick straps went over her shoulders, the fabric now revealing the skin of her back, and he suddenly found himself wanting to touch it, to feel the softness of it.

She turned around to him, her honey-blond hair swinging with the movement, her sapphire eyes locking onto his.

,Kudo! What luck to find you here! "

So this was the famous Kudo, she thought... yes, the rumors were very true indeed, he was exceptionally attractive, his tall frame, as well as lean and yet muscular body, she could see the muscles under his midnight blue shirt, his slightly tanned skin, and those piercing blue eyes, eyes which could see any truth . . . yes, the rumors were true indeed, he was surprising.

,What happened inspector? " He asked them, coming closer, looking into the elevator seeing a doctor already examining the body.

,He was shot. Straight through the heart. Died instantly. " Her voice was neutral, calm, no emotion what so ever tainting it, and yet the sound was more beautiful to him than Ran´s laugh.

What did he just think? How could he just think?

,Who was here? " he asked, his other thoughts forgotten.

And so there went 4 hours to the solving of this very case, the woman, who was later introduced to him as Shiho Myano, helping him the whole time, even when he unmasked the killer. She seemed so calm, so confident, and the moment the case was over, he was suddenly afraid, not afraid of now facing Ran, mind you, no, he was afraid of never seeing this woman again.

And yet, she left before he could even say goodbye.

,Ran, I´m sorry, the case just ... " he did not get to finish, she cut him short.

,Never mind Shinichi, after all I will always be second after your cases. "

The nerve of this man! 4 hours he had left her alone, and she had waited, did not wish to order anything else but a coffee so they could very well order everything together, but 4 hours was just too much, too much time to realize there were to many ,could have"´s.

He could have come back telling her it would be late.

He could have called her.

He could have asked her to come.

She could have gone with him.

And that´s when she saw it.

When you love someone, you love the good and the bad, and you try, you truly try to share things with him, to at least have an idea of what it was that made him tick. And she realized that thing which made him tick, it was never her. He could be scared for her, care for her, trust her, and perhaps love her, but never would she be first.

She did not deserve a second place did she? No one did.

,I´m sorry Shinichi, but this will never work. I´ll always be second, a nr. 2 and I don´t deserve that, and you sure don´t deserve a person who would be mad and disappointed in you, because of this. "

She left. Just with those words she left.

Sitting down, he ordered himself a scotch.

He had been so nervous for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

,You know, you can´t drown your sorrows in a glass of scotch. " He looked up at her, his eyes questioning, but she just stood there, unnerved by his scrutiny. She had wanted to leave, after all, her blind date had been the killer, but she could not bring herself to leave. She had seen them, had seen the way his face lit up while walking towards the girl, had seen the rueful smile while he excused himself, and then, had seen his shoulders slump, his eyes suddenly go numb.

She knew that, she had felt that way so many times, and she knew those were times she would have given anything to have a friend. Even though she considered friends useless.

,How do you know, did you try? " he leaned back in his seat, motioning for her to have a seat, a cynical smile playing on his lips.

,You could say that. " She smirked back at him, sitting down in front of him, her eyes never leaving his.

,She left me. " He said after a while, looking at his glass, watching how the scotch glided over the ice.

,She said she was my second choice. Can you believe that? I never loved another, and yet she was a second choice. " His tone was bitter, the bitterness of a left lover.

, How? How was she my second choice? Did I ever lay eyes on someone else? Did I ever care about someone else as I care for her? Does she not know that I could live with everything being taken away from me, as long as I have her? We were best friends, we always were. And as we grew up, I knew she was going to be the only one I would ever love, how could she leave me? "

She had listened patiently, knowing he actually did not want an answer, but now, she needed to tell him.

,How can you be sure you love her? She was, as far as I understand, the only one to show you more than just friendship, but, if you never knew love, how can you be so sure, it was her, you will ultimately love? " He looked up at her soft whisper, her eyes showing him the wisdom of . . . he could not tell, but he knew, knew, that just as he had been born with the intelligence to solve cases, she had been born with the wisdom to now advise him.

,If you never knew love, till her, how can you be sure, it is love, which binds you to her? I´m not saying this to somehow make you doubt, I am saying this, so that, somehow you realize that what was meant to be, will be, no matter who you are, how strong you are, or how smart you are, and perhaps, with her, it was not meant to be. "

With that she stood. His eyes still fixated on hers. It was extraordinary, how her eyes could stay that cold and her words still be that warm. Could her eyes ever smile? Did she ever smile? Did she speak out of personal experience? And even more so, was she right?

,To what was she second then ? " He asked her smiling, his smile so sincere and yet sad, it made even her eyes sparkle a bit.

,That, you should know better, Kudo. " With that even she left, while he was still looking into his drink.

,It´s Shinichi, Shiho. " He called after her, her name rolling off his tongue like liquid silk.

Turning around, she smiled at him, this time a smile which reached her eyes.

, I know. "


	2. Part 2

Being Second

Part 2

by SoulsFire (PulsingSoul)

Thanks for the reviews, and don´t forget to leave me new ones! Yep, the fic is based on a case of the manga, I watched the anime that day with that exact episode. Anyway, to answer Sn Galatea 1987 A- yes, Gin was walking alone in the woods, at night, near their camp...

don´t worry I´ll explain later. On with the story!

His cases ... I will always be second to your cases.

Those words seemed to haunt him, they seemed destined to torment him, and what was worse, he could not help to think that to some extent she had been right.

A year had passed, and he had never seen Ran since, and what impressed him was that he did not seem to suffer like he thought he would. It was like he knew that his love for her was a part of him, it was the first idealistic love, and it would always be there.

It was like a pyramid. Somewhere, a stone was keeping a level in place, and that stone, was her love. But then you progress, you move forward, and even though that stone never moves, you leave it behind, the feelings go back, and they will remain only there, in that one, lonely stone.

He was alright. He strangely, was more than alright. He became one of the best FBI agents there were, solved cases no one even dared to go near, and he did not crumble, he did not even have the feeling he ,could" crumble.

Only that one sentence kept haunting him.

will always be second to your cases. "

It was true, he was a workaholic, many of his colleagues told him so, but he loved it. Not the killing, but the fact that he made a difference. The fact, that while he was still alive, at least some lies would not be told, and if they were told, he would damn well make sure no one would fall for them. And besides he loved the chase, he was something like a hunter, a mystery the prey.

It was who he was. He had priorities, he could pinpoint them, but once you ask someone to dedicate his life to you, do you expect for that someone to stop being who he was, just to be with you?

Was the love of the detective Shinichi Kudo, not the same love, he would have given her, had he been only Shinichi Kudo?

, Shinichi . " He looked up, his eyes falling onto one of his colleagues, Chris Malone. As head of the investigation group in the FBI everyone knew him, and Chris was one of the few agents who were with Shinichi from day one, both becoming great friends in time. Of course, this gave Chris some advantages, like the fact that he could rush into his office at any time, not caring about the secretary which always said ,you need an appointment " .

,Yes Chris? " His voice was calm, nothing indicating how tired he really felt. Sure he loved his job, but there were no such things as stable working hours.

,The scientist I told you about is here to meet you. And man,

did I ever tell you how lucky you are? "

Shinichi could n´t help but think that something was wrong. Chris was a very good detective and nothing else but a truly gorgeous woman could make him loose his cool, the fact that he was looking like a drooling idiot now, somehow made Shinichi wonder.

,Send her in." He told Chris, turning around in his chair, looking outside. The Sacramento was glittering in the hot burning sun of San Francisco. These were days he really wished he would not have to dress in a suit.

,Detective Kudo. " A startling familiar voice suddenly said, making him turn around, his lips instantly curving into a smile once he recognized just who exactly had entered his office.

She was more stunning than the last time he had seen her, her hair a little bit longer, but still the same unusual strawberry-blond color, her white tight silk blouse contrasting to the dark purple of her knee-length shirt. She still had a figure a model would be envious of, and again he found himself yearning to touch the skin which was visible . . . so soft and creamy.

She smiled at him, his interest in her still clear, and she could n´t help but think that the year which had passed had been very good to him. Now he seemed ... still over cocky, arrogant, and incredibly smart, but not as vulnerable as before. He had become somehow wise, and balanced. To think one year could bring this kind of change was a little bit unnerving to all those who tried for years to change something in their lives.

He looked good. The light blue shirt he wore complimenting his eyes, the black pants showing off his trained muscles. She had already heard from Chris that both he and Shinichi played soccer. In fact, she was already invited to one of their games, and the more she looked at the team captain in front of her, the more she wanted to go.

,Hello Shiho. " He said softly, motioning for her to have a seat.

,You know, this is truly unfair of you. "

Shiho blinked, what was he talking about.

,Well you knew you were going to meet me and decided to look even more astounding than usually, and poor me, didn´t even have a chance to look good. "

She smiled at him, the icy barrier surrounding her eyes and heart falling, only with him though, only with him.

,You look good anyway Shinichi. But as you know, I´m not here to talk about fashion. "

Shinichi sighed. Yes, of course, back to business, no fun. When was the last time he had fun, outside of a case?

,Yes of course. Well then, Miss Myano, tell me, why are you here?"

A few hours later, many things about a mysterious Black Organization having been discussed, he looked down at his watch.

It was already late afternoon, they had been in this office for at least 3 hours. Looking up at the woman opposite of him, who was now downloading some data from a disk to his pc, he realized those were the most relaxing hours he had spent in a long time.

She noticed his eyes on her, and normally she would have snapped at whom ever was so rudely staring at her, but this time, she did not. She felt quite relaxed, and his company made her feel strangely at ease, comfortable, and safe ...

,Shiho ... " She heard his whisper, turning around to him.

,Come to dinner with me. "

She was mesmerized by his eyes, the same eyes that haunted her night for night, telling her it had been a mistake to leave Tokyo in such a rush last year. Now she had the chance to make it up, and suddenly, she felt that he was a man she could actually trust.

Nodding her head, she saw him smile, her smile being an answer to his question, if you could call that a question anyway.

One hour later they were sitting in a nice cozy restaurant, taking small sips of their wine.

,You grew up Shinichi. " She told him with a smile.

detect that somehow I should feel offended by that. " He smiled sheepishly at her, for the first time feeling the muscles in his back and shoulders relax.

,Why are you usually so tense ? " She asked him softly, although she knew the answer to well, considering she did it for the same reason. They were people who´s job was to distrust, she distrusted chemical elements, he distrusted people.

Suddenly, not even regarding her question, he stood, and bowed down in front of her, his hand outstretched towards her.

,May I have this dance, Milady? "

She smiled at him, the game and taunts they shared being truly a good alternative to the secretive and stressful life she was used to.

,Of course My lord. "

It was a wonderful feeling, a feeling of electric warmth spreading through both their bodies once they touched. He held her closer than he probably should have, but she did not mind one bit, on the contrary, she leaned into him, resting her head in the crook of his neck, inhaling the fresh scent of sandalwoods which accompanied him. Secretly, he was doing the same, getting lost into the smell of her hair, the smell of freshly cut oranges, her oriental flower perfume completing it perfectly. She fit so well into his arms . . .

,Shiho ... " he whispered softly against the skin of her neck, laying a small kiss on it, trailing his lips up until they reached her ear.

,Hmm ... "

,Stay with me ... "

She looked up at him, her eyes searching his, trying to find the meaning of his words. Stay with him ... for tonight? For longer? For the moment ?

And what she saw, she liked. It did not matter how long she stayed as long as she did, with her whole being.

She smiled up at him, her eyes locking onto his, before her lips gently touched his ...


	3. Part 3

Being second

by SoulsFire (PulsingSoul)

Part 3

Thanks for the great reviews, but if you want me to make this to a story (I´ll make Shinichi and Shiho a couple, and describe their oh so monotonous life with the Black Organization on their heels ), you should send me more reviews! SN 1987 A, I can´t wait to read your new chapter! Thanks again, bbye!

_Dear Ran, _

_fairly ironical that I write to you after all this years, is it not? _

_You must be wondering why exactly I am writing this letter, and I will not hesitate to tell you. _

_Once you said to me . . . you would always be second to my cases. You were wrong, you were never second to my cases, you were second to my heart, the same heart you broke all those years ago. _

_Life is short. Nothing lasts long, and today I still wonder what would have happened, had I chosen to stay and change your mind. _

_I no longer wonder. _

_What is meant to be, will be. And our love was meant to be only the childish pure first love, nothing more than a bittersweet memory, which I will always treasure. _

_But you can´t live your life on memories, you can´t live your life, knowing you always were just second, because as stupid as it sounds, everyone deserves to be first, at least once, for one second, and maybe, if they´re lucky, for more. _

_I am writing this to you, to tell you, good luck! May you find the one who will see you as first, may you fall in love, and be as happy as I am now. _

_Good luck, _

_Shinichi_

She read the letter, over and over again, and yet . . . he had said something which made her wonder.

everyone deserves to be first ...

Her own words. But what if she had been wrong?

Yes, Shinichi, she thought, but what if being second was all you were supposed to be? What if, there was no one there who you could be first to?

Now more than ever, she realized, she could have been happy. She could have perhaps changed him... perhaps she could have become first in time .

But all these were just ... possibilities. perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

People cannot live just with the illusions of what might have been. Either it is, or it is not. Dreams are always nice, but only some of them are meant to become reality. Life is short, and we have to live it to the max, we can´t just sit around and wait for things to change on their own, or to come to us on their own. We have to fight for them.

No one is meant to be second. Only you make yourself second.

Think of it this way, in a world with billions of people, you need to find just one ...

On the other hand, being second is not that bad.


End file.
